I understand that at the age of 21, I’m obviously going to be unsure about what/who/where I want to be (and go) in my life. I also know people in their 40’s even 50’s and 60’s who still feel this way so I know I’m not alone.
However, considering that I have recently finished the second year of my degree and will be rushing into my third year very, very soon – I’m really starting to panic. I feel as though I need to decide on a career goal A.S.A.P
Some of you may think that I want to follow in my fathers’ footsteps and be a freelance, or should I say ‘full-time’ artist… of course, that is every artists’ dream. To live and breathe their art and to make money from their work; but I’m soooo not ready for that yet.
I haven’t experienced life as a professional; I don’t know what it’s like in the hustle and bustle that I thrive for so much. I don’t know what it’s like to be screwed over by your boss, or to be fired, or to even be promoted. I haven’t yet felt the buzz of succeeding a goal within a job. All I know is how to make you a pretty Latte Coffee with a heart shape in the milk; I can also carry four large plates of food at once, which I suppose could be considered as an art. I’m good at being a waitress and I do love my job sometimes. But, I (hopefully) won’t be doing it forever.
People are always telling me how impressed they are that I apparently have my foot on so many ladders; being a mum, being a waitress, being a girlfriend, being a make-up artist come fine artist, come graphic artist, painter – thingy! I’ve also done art workshops and volunteered for charities too and I’ve also dabbled in a bit of teaching.
It’s just somehow I feel so lost… How come after trying so many things, nothing is guaranteed, nothing is set in stone. I still don’t have a pathway to follow.
I’ve been DEVOTED in the idea of becoming a teach once I have finished my studies, but how am I supposed to teach people who are only a few years younger than myself, some maybe even more experienced and better skilled than I? When I look for a teacher, I look for someone who is committed to their work, someone who has experience and has been working for a very long time, because they will (or should) have the knowledge to be able to teach us. My knowledge is not so great. I may have a passion for learning and I love helping people out. But surely I should go into another job before being a teacher? I need to learn the art industry first, I need to learn things to teach about, not just repeat the things that I‘ve just become familiar with…..
I know that you, my beautiful readers, of whom I’m extremely flaky with, considering I write like one blog post a month, you don’t need to hear all this.
But I definitely needed to get it through my fingers and on to a virtual piece of paper. And maybe you have advice for me? Don’t hesitate to help me out here. Any more doors opening will give me more choice.
I just want to make my son, and myself proud- I want to do everything I can and to be everything that I can.